She who were meant to be!

The desire that knows no purpose or reason


The road that leads to neither here nor there

The days that comes with a thousand seasons

Like the heart that beats with a sigh of despair

The desire that outweighs every desire for subsistence

The thoughts that leads you to a state of oblivion

The smile that faints within the perils of existence

Like she  who breeds in you the warmth of the sun!



The face that tells you of tales untold or unspoken

The years that aged before the stratum of thought

The eyes that hides much and yet reveals more often

Like the breeze that broke the ephemeral pot

The words that leaves you with a unique perception

The droplets of rain that silently wash away the pain,

The seed of joy that sprouts in the womb of destruction,

Like she who drives every nerve in you insane!

String and the Kite!

And then she asked me on a dark December day,
What would I be to her if I were given a choice?
'All that you want me to be' I wanted to say,
'To be your rudiment, like the soul in your voice'
But the choices I make that would lead me to her,
And all that I put I stake to wash away the sin,
I wondered if someday would even dare confer,
The many lives that I sacrificed simply to fit in,
So I watched her with earnest eyes as I did confide,
Couldn’t get the words out so I as much did fret,
‘Darling I have nothing for you but adulation deep inside,
But if given a choice I would bury it than let it beset,
Our timeless companionship, our soulless courtship’
I said thus as I urged her to reconsider her respite
As we spend the rest of our lives locking lip to lip,
Knotted to one another like how the string is to the kite!

Internalize the world!

Give me an hour and I will change the world, give me a lifetime and I wouldn't dare change myself!

And then thats Love!

The numbness within a whirlwind of emotions is love,
The serenity in the womb of destruction is love,
The tranquility within a world of restlessness is love,
The permenance in the relentless state of transience is love,
The silence within the reverberating echoes of existance is love,
The passiveness in the state of sentimental flux is love,
The elixir within the surging venom of thoughts is love,
The anxiety in the isolated state of forbearance is love,
And then all that is love, And then all that is love!

Idea and evolution!

An Idea is born way before time and space,
Thoughts runs in faster than speed of light,
Visions fade into the abyss of the unknown,
They all leave behind minuscules of memories,
Knowledge builds itself around assumptions,
Facts are factions of fictious forbearance,
A decisive action then leads to a conclusion,
The end is nothing but an idea in time and space!

A Man's Choices!

What are the three things a man has to choose wisely in life?

1) His Profession
2) His Companion
3) His Religion

@ 32!

I am turning 32 in 3 days, and am clueless about why I am still here! Wish I had a reason to stick around, just to throw a punch back at solitude when it stares me in the eye, challenging my sense of self actualization.

Carnival of Life!

The carnival of life knows no beginning or end, only a relentless state of indifference! Anyone who pauses to make a point will only find himself watching the parade drift away in dismay!

Angel of Love and Me!

The angel of love once upon a church bell's chime
Caressed my soul while she spoke in a rhyme,
'If its your last sight, what would you wish to see?'
'And where would you go if you are set free?'
'Whom would you call out to for company?'
'If given a choice, what would be your destiny?'
'The angel of love, would you come sit next to me'
I said, 'Would you hold my hand, I ask of thee'
'There is nothing unseen that I would wish to see'
'No such place where I would carry my liberty'
'None whom I would want to call out for company'
'And not a million choices could choose my destiny'
The angel of love came down and sat next to me,
Held my hands then and fondly caressed my cheek,
'Now you know why you have ended up in the box?'
She said, 'So stop whinning about things like an old-ox!

Son, Dad and the Tide!

And then what would become of this life, Dad?
The boy asked his his old man with cuiosity
What would become of this sand, tell me
Asked his dad in return with austerity
You will build a castle from it he replied, for me
And then what will you do all this while, he asked
I will watch you build it for me, son replied
And then what will you do with it, once I am done
With your hands you built it, didn't you Dad,
Yes he replied, and so, Dad asked his son
And then I will give it life with my thoughts
Great, and will it hold life forever my son?
No dad, only till sundown and thats all
What will happen to it after that, Dad asked
The tide will wash away the sand, son replied
And what will you do then my son, he asked
I will save a memory or two thats all, son replied,
You wouldn't fight the tide, would you my son?
I will let it be and carry two things back home
What are those two things my son?
The toil of your hands and the thoughts i had
And what will you do with it if I may ask?
I will save it for the day you get washed away,
Like the sand castle we had, son replied,
You wouldn't fight the time, would you my son?
I would just let you be, and save nothing this time.
So then what would become of this life then?
Does it matter dad? No I suppose not my son!
I will be the toil of your hands, son replied,
And you will be the thought I carry till i meet my tide!

Man of Honour!

A word of caution to the man of honour
Everyone woman he loves is his curse
Every woman who loves him, Alas,
Knows his honour in her arms is at stake!

The Caravan!

I have travelled the length and breadth of time,
Sailed through the visions of reason and rhyme,
I have stretched the limits of my own comprehension,
Fallen off the edge of the many distant horizons ,
I have embraced love and hatered without remorse
Yet I have always known so little of whats instore,
But I have managed to cry everytime I could smile,
And I have also managed to keep up with life!
Till tonight, I have lost nothing thats worth a fight!

Love!

Love is a sort of reprimand, limitation,
A word that means everything but itself,
Love is only a transient state of mind,
The one that knows no other cure but death!

Sirf ek Parchai Hey!

Our pet dog, Rambo, chasing its tail was the most entertaining event in our family for over 8 years until one day my uncle came and stuck a post-it on its tail that read 'God' and smiled and said 'Sirf ek Parchai hey' (Its just a reflection he is chasing)!

Wise Man, Able Man and the Blind Man!

Able Man: And what a blind man's life would be like, I simply wonder?
Wise Man: Blindness is a Virtue, to not see is indeed worth a million sights!
Blind Man: No, no its really a life nothing short of submission and surrender!
Able Man: Well that’s a shame, really, a life with no dignity, pride or rights?
Blind Man: Yes with limited choices and options, I say one of sheer frivolity!
Wise Man: You shouldn't my friend underestimate the significance of restriction!
Able Man: Significance of restriction? Where’s the sense of freedom in captivity?
Blind Man: Or without the idea of space, what is the measure of world’s jurisdiction?
Able Man: I agree, it’s really a life of agony, of weakness and dependency!
Wise Man: So then tell me what is your measure of agony? Of joy, pain and misery?
Able Man: To have the luxury of sensual elevation, not such a state of decadency!
Blind Man: And when my imperfection is absolute, what good is all this relativity?
Wise Man: No trait or knowledge is absolute; relative is even your most eternal precedence!
Blind Man: It’s easier agreed than accepted, my friend, easier spoken than to be heard!
Able Man: And how does eternity matter anyways in a life span counted only in seconds?
Wise Man: Yet you measure yourself in transience and also as a part of the herd?
Blind Man: I could measure either ways, yet what would be my reason to rejoice?
Able Man: And where would he belong and how would he measure to one as able as me?
Wise Man: What is your ability O able man, and what really is your element of choice?
Blind Man: That which I will for but I cannot and yet he has without deliberation or decree!
Able Man: What I can make of this world! With what I could conquer without possession!
Blind Man: Now do you still see my blindness as a Virtue to keep or as an expletive to endure?
Able Man: Now do you have apathy towards his condition, his inability for comprehension?
Wise Man: Yes now I see the misery, now I am sympathetic but to both your mental flexure!
Able Man: Sympathetic to BOTH our mental flexures? So where is the comparison as such?
Blind Man: He is as firm as a pillar and I am resolute in my intuition, yet do you see a contention?
Wise Man: Yes one cannot see and the other refuses to see, yet both seem to have seen too much!

Yet I am so ripe for sex right now!

The green has turned into gray,
And dusk has consumed the day,
The dark clouds have fallen from above,
Yet I am so ripe for sex right now!
It’s that time of the year to be frail,
It’s the season of chasing empty trails,
All the fowl’s flown home somehow
Yet I am so ripe for sex right now!
The smell of spring has long faded
The spirit of the men has gone jaded
With neither warmth nor valor to Endow
Yet I am so ripe for sex right now!
Fat ladies won’t be baking cookies
Old hand won’t train any rookies
Young maidens aren’t milking the cow
Yet I am so ripe for sex right now!

The Glimmer of Hope!

It must have been Quarter to one and the night was a thousand shades darker than usual even for the darkest nights on the Nilgiris. I must have been behind the wheels for over 40 minutes now ever since I drove off from the farm house and started rolling downhill. I adjusted the mirror and glanced at the back seat, ‘have lost 2, but two are still alive, thank Heavens’ I mumbled ‘I need to reach the camp before I lose another one’ I thought. It’s one of those unfortunate days when you were convinced that your heart was right but instead you decided to go with the opinion of a majority that simply contradicted what you believed in. And now was such a moment of realization, when you confronted what you feared the most. ‘Lord, I have got to save at least one’, I cried under my breath, ‘but for that I am going to have to drive faster'.

The rain was pounding upon the windscreen even as I tried keeping it under 30 Kmp. On those steep roads that curled like a snake in a muddy pit, it felt like I was rolling downhill in a roller coaster. The Fiat Padmini I was driving must have been at least 20 years old and weighed a good 500 Kgs on the wheels as I tried steering it through a valley of darkness and ruthless terrain. The car was screeching its way through a sea of debris scattered by the heavy storm and I could hardly see beyond 5 meters in its candle lit headlights. In that terrain, where even on a well-lit afternoon under a sunny sky I would glance thrice over my wheels every second, in that murky rain all I could do was drive straight and turn only when a lightning struck and showed me a turn.

‘I can’t drive any faster, its suicidal to even try’ I was telling myself ‘but do I have choice now?’. To know is the evil, I contemplated. If we had not been so unprepared to begin with, if we hadn’t discussed the alternative options, if I had not chosen to venture into what now seems like a hopeless adventure and if I hadn’t known what I have to do, which I very well know now, I would have been a lot blissful in my ignorance. But now what I ought to do was no longer a matter of choice and that made it even harder to accept or reject. ‘I have to weigh my options’ I thought and I did weigh my options, ‘I have to take my chances’ I decided. Suddenly another lightning struck somewhere between the hills and I got a glimpse of empty stretch ahead.

I quickly glanced again at the back seat through the mirror and I realized I had lost another one, ‘O Christ, this is it, I have got to try’ I murmured as I held onto the wheels and pressed on the gas. The car just jolted in the air for a fraction of a second before it started rolling downhill like a mass of rock caught in a landslide. If it felt like a roller coaster till then, it felt like freefall right now in gravitational acceleration. But hardly would I have rolled over for 200 meters when a huge lightning struck right ahead revealing an 80 degree left turn ahead that left absolutely nothing in the direction I was heading. After a second’s pause that I spent in shock, I slammed the brakes and held the wheel back like a frozen ridge. But the sheer momentum and slippery road made it impossible to hold it straight.

Suddenly the car ran onto something over the edge in its sway and turned to the left and then to the right, finally skidding to the left again crashing side-on into an elevation that ran onto the hill. The collision left a powerful dent on the left door as the car bounced off the elevation and led the car screeching sideways onto the turn that ran into the gorge. The tires screamed in misery even as the car dragged along to the right. It must have been an intervention of the laws of physics that the car did not do a flip and merely crashed onto the separators over the edge that prevented the car from its free fall. In one motion the car came to a stop throwing the entire weight of the car to the right flipping the rear right door open spilling its content into the black hollow down below.

I quicky leaned over my shoulders trying to grab the only one alive but it was too late. I watched in dismay as I held onto the wheels, the final glimmer of the lone glowing camp light as it faded into the sea of enduring darkness below.

All that for an ounce of flesh!!!

What would you give up for an ounce of flesh?
Why would I give up anything just for an ounce of flesh?
Why? For the flesh itself?
For the flesh itself?
Yea!
But that doesn't make any sense?
What doesn't make any sense?
Why would anyone give up anything for an ounce of flesh?
Well people give up a lot of things presumably for nothing, don't they?
Yea they do I guess.
So?
So what?
So what would you give?
I am still not sure if I understand what you are asking?
What don't you understand?
Like what does 'for flesh itself mean? It doesn't make any sense!
Doesn't it?
No!
Ok consider a million bucks and what it means to you!
Ok!
Now consider a Mercedes Benz!
Ok?
And imagine what you would trade for it?
Like what price would I pay for one?
Yea something like that!
Hmmm
So now what about an ounce of flesh?
An ounce of flesh? Thats all?
As in?
Just an ounce of flesh in itself?
Well!
As in so is it flesh as a piece or as a part of something bigger?
Ah! Let's say not as a piece.
Hmm so as a part of something bigger?
Something prettier, meatier and more desirable.
Desirable as in living flesh? Not dead?
Yes something Covetous. Something with life.
Something with life huh? But not an animal is it?
Well....
As in an animal but evolved?
An evolved Animal?
Is it something or someone?
Hmm lets say someone.
An ounce of flesh on someone? What would I give up for an ounce of flesh on someone?
Yes!
On a very desirable someone, pretty and covetous.
Or a covetous ounce of flesh on someone.
How covetous?
Is there a degree to greed?
Hmm what would I give up?
What would you give up?
Should I give up at all? As in why would I?
Should you? Would you?
I don't know, would I?
For your own greed, have you given up before? If yes, then would you again?
Hmm I have...
So would you again?
Maybe I will
What have you given up before?
Much more than what I could guage.
So what would you give up now?
Hmm for my own greed
For much more than just the greed! For that ounce!
For an ounce of flesh?
For an ounce of covetous flesh, yes!
What would I give?
What would you give?
Hmmm many things I suppose..
Many things is it?
Many things and much more!
Ah! Much more.
Yet something beyond all that too.
Yes?
Yes.
Something beyond all that and much more?
Yes but don't ask me what?
No I won't ask!
I wasn't suppose to know, was I?
No, I didn't think so.
All that for an ounce ofdesirable flesh? Covetous and all!
All that for an ounce of flesh!! Yes!

Atmanam VIdhi!

Its the season for sailing into the Seamless Sea of Spirituality! Pray I could patronize a Piscean Harvest of Perpetual thoughts on oneself as I sail back into the shore of sensuality!

Atmanam Vidhi!

Love Beckons!

Love beckons, my Love!
Wer art thou? Wer Indeed?
Giveth a thought, a moment
In awe, in mystiful deed,
Sacred O thy Sensuality,
Baffled in wits, my decree!
Fate summons, my Love!
Wer art thou? Thou destiny?
To thy grace I surrender,
Chastely, In all humility!

I dream and thus!!

I dream of love,
As I sail through the visions of many tragedies,
I dream of her,
She who would someday complete my destiny,
I dream of days,
Where the nights would fall upon an enchanting dusk,
I dream of an end,
Of a tomorrow without a tomorrow or its apprehensions!

Suicide the Ultimate Sacrifice!!

He who dies in vain, also dies in the greatest of pain! Die for a purpose, a purpose of your own! And what more glory in a purpose that you call your own than one that is oneself! Die for oneself, die by oneself!

Suicide is Bliss! Suicide is the Ultimate Sacrifice onto oneself!!

The Sage in the Madman's clothing!!

The glory in mediocrity is often revealed through an act of impudence that only wise men could concieve!

Madman's Robe

If all my life comes down to just one single effort to claim eternity, I would give it all up for that one single moment of glory! Afterall, isn’t a moment of strife far more monumental than a lifetime of reminiscence!

Wise men says.....

What Man Wills, God Fears!
What Man Fears, God Wills!